KittyBonker - "Come Fly with me, Lets fly, Lets fly awwaaayyyy..." says:
hey gal..
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
hyeylo
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
how ya?
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
how r ys?
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
good.. freezing though
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
haaha
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
whr r u nw exactly??
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
new ytork
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
yea i noe..u in somebody's home??
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
nope...
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
some apartnment which we rented
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
oh..is it a gd place?
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
yup... super hugh ciy!
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
city i mean
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
so how are u doin there?
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
wad do u ppl do?
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
SOOOO FUUUNN!!!
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
nvr do much yet... been walking ard for the past few days
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
how diff isit there
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
theres no trees here.. buildings all very close to each other..
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
roads vert straight
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
check out my blog for ics soon!
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
pics
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
okok
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
hows sch?
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
hahhaa
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
stress man..harhar and its jz the 2nd week of school..
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
really??
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
so poor thing
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
haahaa
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
i noe! and now doin project..was quite shocked u were onlinr
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
haha
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
im tapping some1 else network.. hahaha
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
hahaha...muz b havin fun there huh?
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
ok lar...
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
very expensive here
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
uh huh...u eaten??
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
not yet... just woke up
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
oh yea wad time is it now there?
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
8.45 am
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
ooh
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
whoa
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
dats early
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
yup.. had an early nite last nite... super tiered
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
wads the plan for today??
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
supposed to go to liberty islad..
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
but not really sure rthough
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
alrite.. think my connection is down liao..
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
tok to u again!
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
cya!
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
byebye
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
have fun alrite?
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
yup.. u bet
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
oh yea
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
expectin souvenir when u came back
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
hahahaahahahaha
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
sorry.. connection down liao.. cant read u liao
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
hahahhaa
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
hahah
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
nvm will email it to u
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
opps.. network ogne liao
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
hahahhaa
Im not a fuckin charity case so if u said u'd meet me u'd jolly well come n reach there in time,FUCKER!mizzhailybelo.blogspot.com says:
BYEEE
KittyBonker - "Snow flakes keep falling on my head..." says:
bye

~conversation with bruno who is now in New York,USA for student exchange programme, juz wanna tell u ppl how he's been doin there. cheers!~

Am as sick as a patient..DAMN..cant control the white watery fluid dat keeps comin out of my nose..feels like poking my sister's tampoon up my nose and block the irritatin leakage..losing my appetide..felt hungry but when i look at food cant eat..temperamental condition: Increasing..scratchy throat..doesnt feel good..coughin once in a while..DIE INFLUENZA VIRUZ!! DIE!!

Urgent! I lost my rhyme book!! i wanna cry!! i feel like crying!! no! no! where is my rhyme book?! how can it leave from my possesion! how can it be gone! where are you?! im crazy without you..oh please!please,please,please! dont disappear! i need you, YOU STUPID BOOK!!! Arrggh!!Juz as i haf the disposition to write my rhyme on diz lil book, its gone..i've searched for it everywhere! Goddammit! I hate this...i hate it when part of me is missing..it feels like i've been parted away from my one and only child from those bullies in a scuffle, who killed him by stabbin the poor audacious child prodigy..geez..what the fuck am i talkin abt,SIAL!!Where the hell is my goddamn,motherfuckin,cukoo pieces of paper held with a spiral bind, covered with hardcover cardboard on the front and back page!!Fuck off la u piss me off!

If U Havent Made These Mistakes, then learn from me. It only saves you the trouble or saves you from hurting your own feelings..i rather hurt myself than see other people hurt with the same mistake i made..It's mostly about having the right friends..anyhow, I am born an unlucky child. I had always have to figure things out on my own to be better coz nobody could help me.
One incident which kept me well-thinking: A friend had a problem with his girlfriend and the gf happened to be my god-sister and she's quite close to me. She trusted me alot and would always heed for my advice when she's in demoralization. So this friend had a problem with the realtionship with my god-sis and believe me it was in the middle of my 'O' levels. He dragged me out of my house and away from my books. I could not bear to say 'No' to this requited friend so I went. Listen to this: One BIG aberrational move. i did not study for one whole bloody day because i had to listen to his goddamn story. All the while i thought about better things to do than to listen to his story but what did i do? I went along with it..How consumately stupid can I get?I could just competently say 'NO' but this word seemes to be a very easy word but why is it so hard to say it out? I listened to him talk to God knows how long about one particular word which i despise: Relationship. He talked to me about the relationship going all screwed up and wanted me to save it..i mean come on! if the girl doesnt like YOU, you better give it up,man..! Whatever shit they have gone through is none of my bloody bznez but why am I dragged into it? Why should i be involved in this shit? why, for all things did i care to be there for a friend when nobody had ever been there for me before in my life? After that, this friend vanished! Gone with the wind..what do i have to deserve what i just did to him by just being there for him? Excuze me, SIR!, no thank yous??? Do i even need to ask?? people always come to me when they need me to be there for them, when they need advice, when they need a listening ear or when they need me to consolidate them. I do always listen to them but guess what? I hate listening! I am a good listener but SO WHAT? I still hate to listen! Im sick and tired of people thinking about me as a charity case..when i need their help, they were gone in a jiffy..
People say if you go somewhere peaceful and quiet, it helps to do some soul-searching. Like where? I will ask. The Beach on the water-breaker overlookin the composed sea..Feel the salty breeze kissin ur cheeks and the light sunshine beatin your back as u sit back and relax then start reflectin..OH GIVE ME A BREAK! I rather jump down into the sea and drown myself to rot than spare any hebetudinous thoughts of mine!it's a cruel thing to do...
Somebody told me that i cant live without friends. He's right. Apart from needin their help in emergencies, I can live on my own thank you very much. Anyway, what help is there when all your friends always makes excuses about being busy when I need their help? I might not need them at all..Hey! i can die of sudden death and my body is left to rot in a room for 21 days before the stench seeped from under the door of my home and prick the hair of your nostrils before i was found, my body half-way decomposin..i dont need anyone's help to be found! The stench from my own body could do all the work..what i mean is friends are not everything..Friends can be the most wonderful thing that happen in your life but its just in the matter of choosing the right one..
I used to have this friend whom i always confide in when i had my own problems..i mean im only human rite? I do need some incoming advices for myself right? But this guy he adviced me to be someone im not and its so wrong, so very wrong..At first, I just nodded my head, amazed, but i finally come to my senses and wasnt naive enough not to follow his stupid advice! I mean come on! my advices are way better than his, right Fas? hahaha! Maybe I used to respect him alot thats why i listened to him. How could i be so stupid to even listen to him? I was also thinkin about lettin him rip open my 'O' level result in his honour! What a terrible thought! I rather ask my brother to open it for me. Shit, I could bloody well open it up MYSELF!! Worse comes to worse, I even put on a blind eye when Im the one there for him, helping him in any way I could just to make him happy? Why?
I have read in magazines saying having friends will increase your lifeline or what they say makes you live longer? I say friends shortens my life and become the death of me! I swear they are squeezin the hell out of me and the life out of my soul..Yes,yes..I know i should look on the bright side and be positive but i could not possibly be thinking about a positive perspective all the time, right?Oy! ever heard of this clinche sentence before,"A ship as big as Titanic will eventually sink but one ship that will forever stay afloat is friend-ship," Ready to laugh? One, Two, THREE!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA! I rather abroad on a Titanic while it sinks and sing, 'My Heart Will Go On,' than be on a stupid friend-Ship.
Maybe friend problems are not the obstacles of life..thats too general,aint it? I think they are the obstacle life to my own grave! Hehe! I rather dig my own grave there and then, than run an obstacle to hell! Peace everyone!
~Hey Fas, hope you read all these..I hope Im the friend worth for you..Love ya, sis! And Jo, you too,sis..And Johan, hey, you're the best will always be loved by me..Bro Hao!! Even tho' I hate listenin, listening 2 ur probs are always a blessing in disguise..i wud love to help you in everyway possible! Love you too!~

he's a big boy now..very handsome and a real hottie..but how i wish he never grew up..he's SO CUTE when he's a lil' kid..wanna hug him..a BRILLIANT kid-actor.. 

In The Sixth Sense! LOOK AT HIM!!  

so little! SO CUTE!!! 

i tink diz one's in the story Pay It Forward..he died in this movie..sad story.. 

very cute, huh? 

Well..School has started and i felt like a total doofus..why? Firstly, when i walked into Organic Chem lecture, i was stumped by the first chapter.. I DID NOT KNOW WHAT THE HELL THE LECTURER IS TALKING ABOUT!!! I dont understand alotta stuffs..i wanted to ask questions but the hell..i did not know what to ask coz im soo clueless..fish ar...what the hell..im so insecure in this subject..i gotta find the book SOON!! I tried researchin in the net..like wad Johan said, it's a pile of junk..sooo difficult..den one more thing..i dun understand why we're suppose to learn IT in Life Sciences..they did taught us to do a meaningful search on the search engine but it seemed to be effective in Entrez search engine hahaha! and Entrez is a medical website..uh.. the NCBI shit..I hate computers man...gosh..! i feel so sick..no not really actually..harharhar!! micro B, cell biology and chem bio are interesting and i like these subjs..hehe! i used to hate bio when i was in sec school but now bio seems to b a fairly interesting subj..Su! you're such a NERD!!
actually im doin tutorials right now and i wanted to finish it by today..oh hey! i might b startin werk soon!! then i'll be those ppl with extra money in hand..sooo now i need to study first b4 werk starts coz i might not be able to have time to revise so i study now...hehehe! aight! need to go now..
P.S.: Hey johan, ya remember the challenge i took for being one of the best student in my course? hehe! best student doesnt mean top student rite? soo...rite on!

this stoooopid bird alwayz disturb me and sis sleepin by peckin on the bloody window.. 

my eldest sis!! 

my 2nd sis wif the Japanese banana money..wich century does she comes from??
mizzhaily took a shot

i just find it sick coz people find me pathetic,
im too strong for you, u just find me so weak
i've been stupid before but why am i doing this again
u keep doin this to me, u tink its fun to victimise my heart with pain
ur execrable disrespect is drivin me insane
coz watever i do to you is unappreciative
i rather make myself weak in the solemnising rain
den wait for u to meet me up in vain
at least waitin for the rain in drought is worth it
den the friendship i waste my time to keep
dat u haf effortlessly nullifed
diz has put me in a detonated emotion
if u ever thought of fuckin me up again
think again coz im enough of how i've been treated
i have never felt so abominated
to a someone i thought i wud really care
i wasnt given the benefit of the doubt and it isnt fair
coz im just stoopid enough to reject the "good ppl are rare."
so beware..

i just said im stupid but i received an e-mail from them and they said this:
Thank you for taking the IQ Test at www.IQTest.com.
We are confirming that your IQ Test score was: 139
Compare your score:
Intelligence Interval
Cognitive Designation
40 - 55
Mentally disabled (Less than 1% of test takers)
55 - 70
Learning difficulty (2.3% of test takers)
70 - 85
Below average
85 - 115
Average (68% of test takers)
115 - 130
Gifted
130 - 145
Genius (2.3% of test takers)
145 - 160
Extraordinary genius (Less than 1% of test takers)
160+
i dont believe this shit at all...

"Congratulations, Mizzhaily!Your IQ score is 127
Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace."

Descriptive Classifications of Intelligence Quotients
IQ Description % of Population
130+ Very superior 2.2%
120-129 Superior 6.7%
110-119 High average 16.1%
90-109 Average 50%
80-89 Low average 16.1%
70-79 Borderline 6.7%
Below 70 Extremely low 2.2%

IQ score for an average person is 100
In singapore is 104

I'm so stupid...

"Monday, December 20, 2004
sssuu..ive just read da entry..to tink of it i kinda miss dem too..but i tink in da future ill miss my jc frens more den dem..cos it is so much hepenin here..but ill nva forget u guys..promiseso i gues u miss dem so much bcos ur clas is dead boring..ahahah..true wat..u said so..yah i agree dat i m a conservative person in skendrie skewl..mayb bcos of low selfesteem or lack da confidence..but i tink ive chged nw..n one more ting...wers ur godamn tagboard?n im pissd i cnt see our pic..i smiled very da big2 for u n u dnt hav it..wers da kedai?im gonna burn it down tmr..ahahah...n jds fine.." ~~retrieved from Abang Khairol's blog [-imperfect-perfectionist.blogspot.com]~~

Isnt he just sweet?? hehe! now dat u've said u've changed..no time to talk onli muz SHOW!!
anyway,i disturbed my lil'bro for being a sissy and i irritate him by chantin, "Sissy boy" alota times and he got really fed-up he turned up the TV volume but then it was too loud so he turned it down only to hear me continue chanting..he called me,"Perempuan giler!" hahahahahaha! it was sooo funny..my lil' bro realli got an ego..just like all the other soccer boys..i mean REALLY!

"Su, be strong okay gurl? Dont give up on me..i want you to come out from that school as a new person..then you give me a call..i love you,sis.." He whispered as he gave me the brotherly comforting tight hug..Ahmad Daniel,its official, he's gone..gone to US..i felt like cryin but i cant..i dunno why mayb becoz he told me not to..all the time he wrapped a comfortin arm around my shoulders as he said he missed me alot..we have not seen each other for a veeeerry long time and it was the first time in how many years since i moved to BP that i see him..and i see him leaving singapore for a better oportunity, a better place, yesterday..i didnt how much i missed him ALOT..all the times..played soccer together..with Eddie (migrated), Abg Saiful (married to Kak Nina), Johan (migrated), Jonathan (migrated), Saiful Amaludin (left the Earth n went to the hands of Allah on 16 August 2001), Fairuz, Faizal, Farid, Fairuz Dol, Fareez, Fuad (the F-brothers) haha! all separated and moved houses.. these things are pulled us apart from our tight bond..its official Animorphics Red is no more! Hey, A.D. dun give up on me aight, bro..i wont let ya down..i love ya so much..

Just pathetic..hehe! you ppl! gosh! the laz entry was juz a...a...a you know just a rhyme..not true la..just infatuation i guess..you know just a lil' rhyme dats all..doesnt have to be real aint it..anyway, just talked to my ex-classmates a few days ago (4E1 of 2003) and i didnt realise how much i miss them so! i miss all my sec school friends though and thinking about it, i tink i miss GV too..OH CRAP! wad the hell am i gibbering! yeah..missed the fun-loving funny 4E1 people..they were sooo jovial and i missed that..my current class MB0405, they're dead serious about studyin and all and im just feeling a bit crappy about that..i dont have the feeling you knoe where the whole class got together and promised not to study for a test as a class..i missed the part where we passed around papers to copy..i missed the part where we all rebel against the teachers..i missed the part where we all were so goddamn united..my current class..they were SO INNOCENT! i dunno most of them ar..they're so innoxious, so so darn it! they're just goody-goody lah! im surrounded by a bunch of dexterous people inclinated to studies..haha! anyone of MB0405 peepz who read diz, dun take all diz to heart..anyway,i talked to JX (my ex-vice chairman!! he's the coolest chairman!!) and we might be organizing a class outing next year maybe..hmm..Khairul added me in friendster..never tot he would add me..haha surprise-surprise!! yeah..used to tease him alot..been his clazzmate for 3 years i tink..never talk much that guy..i tink he'z the only malay guy that im quite close to IN MY CLASS..although there were only 3 malay guys in my class..well,hey!no matter how much people talk, for 3 years their personality conquers so much you practically know this person, rite Khai? Btw, Khai, remember i took pic together with ya one of the days laz year? i never got it developed coz the photoshop man screwed my negative..man..he screwed most of the other photos too and he almost got a 10 minutes earful of lecture from me but then i got interrupted by my friend askin me to shut the hell up, thanks JON! so those times..the memories of those times..lost..the man gave me a new roll of film but then i dont need it when the occasion is over..wad for?? haha! and JAMES!! the cushion-ey guy whom i alwayz love to put my head on and just SLEEP! i hope he never lose a kilo! man..love 4E1 to bitz! so.. ya noe, 4E1 we'll keep in touch sometime coz me and JX are on the wheel to organize a class outing..YOU GUYS ROCK!!
P.S. : btw, Khai, maybe we try JD first ok? i tink BC too KERAS..aku pon tak bleh angkatz nanti ko kena antar aku balik aru tau! hahaha! u knoe wad i mean rite?

I've been travellin around the world
But I've been a little fanatic, gurl
They said i'm good but they're nuts
love his conversation, the cute chucks and the final cuts
lyin' comfortably on his huge red rug, hot chocolate aside on his "I Love Your Butt," mug
den he gave me a cudly comfy lil' hug
and told it to my face, "I Like You,"
my heart stopped a beat or maybe two?
no wordz cud describe how i feel, vocabulary's too few
my personality tracked in lieu
the psychotic gene cascatrate with my curfew
he haz a cute face, always gave me a ride
coz he got a cool goddamn bike
gurls croonin over him, go take a hike..to the likes of the nites
we've spent and when everybody knoes my name
i've been a crowned of a brand new game
and i owned a big big fame
bitches ditched, scrowlin incriminationz brought back to shame
Psyche! i'm juz dreamin! HAHAHA!

Jo, just wanna tell ya dat all my rhymes are absolutely spontaneous as in i wrote it impromtu..there and then..no preparation and no edits!

Boyish eyes, dimpled smile, square-jawed, tanned skin, great bod..no matter he's chinese or malay but these are just desires..guys who are intelligent who never given up studyin no matter wad..caring and helpful..knowin wads wrong or right..i know its hard to find this kind of guys these days but i rather haf V-guys..hahaha! wad a thing to think up..a lil' bit of BAD BOY would be nice coz i like challenges..hehe..guys who are more of a leader than me are controversial..hehe make up my day..wont be bored aint it? but then alotta fun fights..a guy who would be there when u need him..not a drinker nor a smelly smoker..a guy who never gives up are really cool and he should be sporty! the hell..wad am i talking about..

Went to Pre Rouge Staff party last nite with the pre rouge staffz @ Devils' Bar and turns out that Sara and me cant get in..Wahahhahaha! We're underaged..Got kicked out..Feel so paiseh..hehe! everybody was looking at us then Ajay said if me and Sara cannot come in, he will join us..Fuck those pre Rouge people inside who could get in..hahaha! it was quite funny tho' and me, Ajay, Sara, Mas ended up waiting for Zakir to come because he got another plan..he came like about 2.40am and he told us that he had a friend who could squeeze us in from the back door but that idea failed..Few people begged the bouncers for us to come in but those securities stood firm to their policies..i dont blame them! Then Bruno came with his ever-so striking ORANGE shirt and he laughed at me for being underaged..That fucker..hehe! He went in for the most obvious reason..JORDAN..hahaha! Ajay were mad with Jason because Jason blamed him for not telling him me and Sara were coming.."Uh..Jason! Were you the one who FORCED me to go? You should know wad...Huh? What did you say? You didnt know I'm underaged? You must be kidding me..You are a goddamn motherfuckin' supervisor, am i right? Dont ya blame me for being 17 and blame Ajay for nuthin, brudder!" Shit sey..I look older than my age sia..haha! Anyway,being pissed with Jason wouldn't make the bouncers let us in right? haha! Zakir was absolutely guilty coz he asked me to come and i cant come in so he planned a place for all of us to go drink..We went to 3's Monkeys Bar and ordered a bottle of JD, Slingz, margarittas and 14 bottles of Heinekein..and some finger-food stuffz..Then Bruno came for a while before he went back to Devil's bar (dat bloody idiot again!) to pick Jordan up who is already not in his right mind...hahaha! i wondered how he's goin to work today..was mad at him for going back so early but then he got presentation today..so i let him off (Such a pity!) and so good luck to him la...hehe! I still love you loadz,bro! hehe! den we ordered another bottle of JD and ended up givin em back coz we aint got not enough money,man..hehehe! some of the staffs from Devil's bar came to us and they ordered Pastas to eat..most of 'em are already damn high..haha! but nobody is drunk..THANK GOD! then Fazlie came to drink a glass of JD-coke and a bottle of heinekein and ate Carbonara..he sat and chatted with us for a while before he went off but a while after that, he came back and asked me if anybody stays at the west side..i say ME! haha den he sent me home with his bike...very cool...its been a long time since i rode a bike..hmm...den i found out my keys are with Mas..cannot go into the house and i needed to pee desperately..dun want to disturb my mom but i just cant stand my bladder so i just called her and she opened the door..luckily she never scold..then i straight go to bed and then KO...flat sia..den today shit ar got renovation upstairs disturbs my sleep @ 11am i woke up..haiz..so noisy cannot sleep..then my Daniel called saying his grandmother got admitted to hospital and delayed his flight to Sunday and i waz like AARRRGGHH!!! FUCKIN SHIT! i should have gone to the pre-christmas party JOANNA INVITED!! Goddammit,man...wat the hell......................................

i hate it when people promise me and they never keep their word..I hate it when I promise people to go anywhere and they cancel at the last minute when you are already gotten ready to go out..What? you expect me to change back into my own clothes just because you are so fuckin sleepy that you dont want to go out? "Su, I can't go eat with ya because i'm going to have lunch with my brother..I'll eat with you next time, I promise!" but you never eat with me did ya? or "Su I can't come to your open house coz Im working..i'll cum next time, I promise!" and i never see your stupid face at my doorstep and now Hari Raya is over! or "I promise I will never get drunk..." but i see me using my money to take you home, your body leanin against mine for support, reek of alcohol with your breath fuckin nasty and your speech so slurred..and you walked SO STRAIGHT! WHAT THE FUCK YOU ALL TAKE ME FOR, HUH?? Do i look so pathetic to you fuckers? Do I always make promises and then break em all? Are you guys getting me back or wad? Hey, look at the red sentences above..IF YOU NEVER SAY THE WORD 'PROMISE', I WOULD NEVER GET PISSED!!! So Fas, when I asked you out and i cant go out because i need to wait for the repairman, did i promise you that i could meet you the next day and did i come? YES..Jo,you have known me for 5 years now, tell me if I ever did diz to u? Tell me,Fas, Jo or anyone of you reading this did i ever break any of my promises..I did before I know but I did say sorry, right? it's not fun to be victimised by these derisory nonsense! why are you making my life miserable? what is it did i do to deserve this? is it my fuckin character? Fuck You All! I am not changing just because you are happy..Im not changing because of YOU..Im not changin, dammit..because YOU pissed me off! The reason why im such a bitch is because of you fuckers who cant stop immolatin me..im such a fool to be fallin into your trap..im like an imbecile innocent who is SOOOO stupid that she goes to the middle of a shooting riot and got killed in the end..i felt like a gladiator being sent to the amphitheatre and a nice piece of steak slung around my stoopid neck for the starvin lions or shud i say beasts? What the hell..You people always told me,"All you have to do is just smile.." Good! Im just about to change for the better..To smile to people..But now,the way I've been treated is like you people never meant it..WHO CARES whether I smile or not, huh? Is it better if I dont smile and people dont dare befriend with me? You dont have to waste your bloody time making my already despicable life more despondent than it is now.. I feel more hurt than ever..i feel manipulated by you people..what gain have you got from it? TELL ME!! Im just so cheated..

The first song I made with a music and a singer..

Verse 1:
I fantasize the look you've given me, in your eyes
And believe me deep down inside, I've thought of your lies
But everytime I turn my back on you, I've finally realise
That you see, you're not the one for me for the troubles you've caused in me...

c/o:
Hopes and dreams..I've finally found a way to believe in me
Of all the painful steps that I have gone thru diz alone
To find a way to set myself, high and free

Verse 2:
I'm blessed with great plesures happened in my life
All the words in the world could I ever described
The burning feeling...
Let me show you what I'm thinking!
Right now,
You see, I'm ready to tell you the truth
That I cud stand on my on two feet, cause I dont, need you, anymore..

Repeat c/o:-

Anger towards the apprehensive heebie-jeebies resulted from the fretfulness of my own solicitude distress..Fuck it my tagboard still a lil' bit crazy and im a lil' bit out of my mind..haha..fuckers..made alota new friends these days..Peepz like Shafie, Yem and Nick..Nick's a nice guy..he's a song writer so we're basically in the same line and oh gosh! my neighbour..she really suck the life out of me..she told me she's gonna come over to my house but she never did haha! im not angry but if she cannot come then why she kept sayin, "Im coming, Im coming!" Wad the hell..Lala search yourself babe! when Jo came to fight computer virus in my computer, my computer was obediently good when she came but fuck it, when she's gone..whoa! popups here and there like nobody's bznez..FISH OFF la! See how avertin it is to see 'Search Poker Online' pop-ups!!! Bruno message me saying about pre-rouge gatherin party on Wednesday and asked me whether im goin or not but at dat time i didnt know about the party but at around 2-3am Zakir,my former manager, called me saying that therez a Pre-Christmaz party plus staff gatherin at Devil's bar and I asked Bruno whether he'z going or not and he said he'z not really ebullient about going coz the party's late at 2am and he had a presentation in school tha day after..then diz afternoon Jason, my former supervisor asked me to come over and told me to tell him fast coz he need to do some reservation and i told him i'd call him back..haiz..so i dunno yet whether im going or not..arrrghh! this is aggravatingly disgusting!partly of me wants to go coz i mizz my pre-rouge friends and i wanna get out of the house but part of me dun wan to go bacause
1. Im lazy as fuck..i rather sleep than go to some Christmaz party i never celebrate (Im not Christian,dammit)
2. Do I have to bring prezie? Dun waste my money
3. Bruno not going, Yus not going and i dunno who's goin..i havent been workin for 4 months there by there are alot of people i dont know..i dun wan to be left out
4. Lastly,my very,very closefriend, Ahmad Daniel, migratin to the US!!! Arrgh!! His flight's the next day and I have to be there with the rest and I cant go to the Rouge party shit Joanna invited..
Why is everybody going to the US huh?? And why are all my friends migratin?!! Johan migrated to US and study there because of his soccer skillz (he got spotted by some club or something..wateva!), Eddie (handsome next-door neighbour whom Im very close to-he's a clever fucker) migrated to Canada because his father having business venture there, Daniel migrated to US because he got admitted to some University through scholarship, Jonathan (the best goalkeeper in Animorphics) migrated to down under because his mom lives there and Rafie migrated to Australia too for studies! What The Hell Am I Still Doing Here!! Next time, it'll be my turn and Suhaily migrated to Africa because she's just sick of Singapore! hehe! Im in mood for a lil' rhyme now...

Dark clouds envelops the dark sky
grey,angry clouds hoverin the nite
thunders clappin in joyous flight
lightnin streakin the nite alite
feelin small,fearful and absolutely cold
a comfortin warmth blanketin over me
smelt of warm, familiar perfume filled my nostrils
there,the love of my life,strong and bold
but his powerful arms over me, makin me comfy
rockin me to comfort and his warm vioce filled my ears
wonderful deep voice singin me to calmness
suddenly,the world doesnt exist anymore
its only me and him alone in our world
the thunder and lightnin doesnt look so scary anymore
whenever and wherever, he'll always be here with me protectin me
its not a dream
thunders crashin out the windows,and im not alone..

Some people are too eager to travel the longest distance in the shortest time
itz impossible in the quickest time to do a meaningful rhyme
but i tell dat small beginnin only inspire you to think big
datz how u finish wad u want to achieve
dats ur goal
and juz b4 people started buildin realli strong teamz
they need to know wadz in ur talent pool
better show your talentz out but,dear,beware
there are many reactions and alotta changes from u
and ur frens btwn the rough cut and the final print
build tolenrance to lighten your heavy load
cuz the perfect picture is worth a thousand mediocre werds
like a trust dat shines a bright beam thru ur darness
try by agreein to first understand others
for ur inner lawyer might stop cross-examining bewildered witness
itz time for a welcome recess
thankz for everythin and thankz for readin diz!

diz is dedicated to Fasihah...i know u've read this and i knoe will read my blog everyday but still its for ya! love ya, sis!

Following up the last entry, I went back to school yesterday to return my library book coz itz due 3 dayz ago I'd better return it fast or I have to pay the never-endin fines..I waz wearin diz black Elle shirt and a pair of hipster jeanz with a brown belt and i thought i looked okay in it and I know I did so wad the hell..nothin happened actually but when i already returned the book and everythin, I was listenin to my discman and there'z diz bunch of Chinese gurlz in front of me. One of the gurlz turned and looked at me and whispered to her other friendz and they all looked at me. Im like what the fuck?!! the other girlz did not look at me again after that as they're into their own conversation but this gurl! she looked at me once, itz not enough! she must look at me again sial!!! I so hate that bitch.. she looked at me like i waz from another planet or something or did i see green monster creepin up in her just because i am much thinner and healthier than her hahaha! sorry wasn't suppose to come out that way! her fashion sense suck anyway. she had this very saint patrick green tee and a bluish-white miniskirt and her hair was like very short but curled in the end..she wore the most ugliest pair of shoes i had ever seen! It's a white open toe flatz with rainbow stripez in the front! I would never buy a pair of shoez that ugly! Urrgh! She waz holdin diz nyoya (auntie)- like bag which iz cream-brown stripez..you know those auntiez who brought the kind of bag to the market to load their vege? Yup, that one..how can anyone bring a bag like dat to school.. and she's not a lil bit average thin size..she got a really bulging stomach with all those ugly bulgez around and the huge thighz wif a miniskirt? EWWW!!! her tee waz a body-huggin onez where u cant hide your bulgez..Geesh! She also doesnt look healthy! She looked so pathetic! My, my...u know if i hate someone, i can contemplate her for a few secondz of what she's wearin or how she looked and criticize and insult her... but remember, i dun critisize or insult anyone who dun piss me off...

Roxanne pushed the loaded cart straight to the empty cashier and as she put as much stuffs onto the table, the cashier looked at her.
"You married?" the cashier asked as she scanned the products Roxanne brought over. Roxanne looked up to cashier, "What?" she asked and the cashier laughed.
"I can't help noticing the ring on your finger. It's very nice, believe me but you looked quite young." The cashier pointed out as she expertly doing her work. Roxanne looked at her wedding ring on her left ring finger. Then, she took the plastic bags loaded with her stuffs back into the cart.
"You have children? You bought alot of stuffs for two person." The cashier pressed the 'Total' button when she was sure everything was scanned and placed into the plastic bag. Roxanne gave her, her card.
"I'm 20 and yes, I'm married. I have a 1 and a half year old boy at home with my mother. My husband died of car accident a year ago." Roxanne explained as she keyed in her card PIN number with the cashier startled.
"I'm so sorry--" the cashier stuttered but was cut off by Roxanne, "You shouldn't be. It's not your fault my husband died and I have to carry on living on my own. It's not your fault that my husband did not have the chance to see his own son and its also not your fault that you have to know the truth and i have to receive another sympathetic sorriness all over again! But it's your fault that I have to bring it up!" Roxanne hissed as she snatched her card and pushed her cart out of the supermarket in a huff.
--If you're the cashier, what will you do when you get the treatment from Roxanne? If I'm the cashier, I would say, "What do you want me to say when you say your husband's dead? Good for you! Who asked you to get married early." ? Wahahahaahaha! I think I'll say about that!--

Gosh! i just came back from camp 2 dayz ago and im still feeling a lil' beat from the 3day boring Survivor Camp...Well...I do mizz leading guidez and everythin but the hell it was goddamn tiring...but it was fun coz i got to meet my dearest friends like Shima, Jerlynn and Maznah..They're the best leaderz if they are werkin together with me...hahahahahaha! I shud think dat they are the only rebellion onez in Guidez left..the laz batch waz oh-ever-so-bunch-of-rebelz dat the Guidez teacher oso cannot tahan...like Liana, Rad, Jenny, Donna, Suraya, Suhaila, Shazwani...these ppl (includin me!) muz broke more than one rule in every camp we go...hey, i still remember them like you know how many yearz or eonz ago..i love to lead so it waz great actually cuz i have been a freakin leader for yearz and yearz and now itz time for me to cut a lil bit of slack...
Anyway,on the first day of camp we did the same boring thing like gettin together and everythin and get diz itz a Survivor Camp so they had their own food ration for the whole 3dayz and they only had a few food,6 firestarterz,1 box of mathchez, a stove and some Milo packet drinkz..they were to share all these for the whole 3 dayz..during the 3 dayz if ever they were to want more firestarterz they had to trade for the firestarter with the leaderz with their food..aint dat completely evil?hahah!but itz survivor camp! The first programme of the day was Tribal Bonding and Tribal Identity..while Mdm Ng and Mrs Goh(or Ms Ling) were distracting the camperz wif their stuffz, the leaderz had to made diz Obstacle Course in the hall but Maznah and Jerlynn were called for OBS trainin and it was only left wif me, Shima and Amanda to do their stuffz and im like wad the fuck! the girlz were so tied down with diz camp and they were called for OBS..but they had to go runnin and the 3 of uz had to do their job even though, on the list it was Maznah'z and Jerlynn'z names on it..we did sum obstacle courses and just az we finished gettin ready, Maznah called me. she asked me to wait for em in front of the school with some money coz they took a taxi on their way back! they were crazy! they were suppose to run all the way to school but they ran halfway and took the taxi on their way to finished with their camp..hahhaha! it waz dreadfully funny of course! then it waz time for lunch the camperz had to cook themselvez for luch while the leaderz and the teacherz took a takeout from Loyang Point aka LP...after dat we had more gamez wif Shima and Maznah in charge while me and Jerlynn went around plantin plastic bagz with the no 1,2,3 on it around the school..then we had gadget makin; the camperz were to build baggage rack,shoe rack and towel rack in a given time..after dat it waz dinner time. then at 1930hrz waz tent pitchin time..before you say, "Wad the fuck?? Tent pitchin at night? Hello? in the dark?" Yup!thatz rite! in the dark..purposely made them pitched their tentz in the dark with not enough pegz!wahahaha! they had to find wayz and creativity to make their own pegz..after dat, it waz their bath time and guezz wad? Guidez are known to be neat and clean in whatever they are doing or makin but when the camperz are bathin, we inspected the tentage area to be in a terrible mess...twinez were all over the place,there were plastic bagz on the ground,lashingz were not done properly and some tentz are not pegged down properly too. and i am pissed. i asked jerlynn to cut down the bathing time to 10 minutez and asked them to assemble as quickly az possible...wahahaha!when they looked at my scary face they started to quietened down coz the first thing i said waz, "You better sit down and shut your bloody mouth!" then they know itz seriouz because goddamn i waz furiouz wif em...itz like completely an insult to my yearz of devotion with Guidez life..so i made em stand up and sit down a couple of timez, made em do sit-upz and push-upz alot of timez..it was countlezz and i made about 2-3 girlz cry that night but i dun care..den i asked em to bring their legz up in the air and count asked Maznah to count to 10 slowly..it was pure torture and when you are the leader it waz a sweet revenge..they were then given 2 minutez to clear up the tentage area and for those who assembled back later then 2 minutez were punished again..then another game after that...the teacherz went to sleep and we stopped the game and gathered around to chit-chat while we waited for the SI result. everybody waz supportin Taufik except for one or two who supported Sly..me,jer and maznah voted for Taufik like crazy and he won!he won! when Maznah announced the result, we were all jumping for joy..u know...a bunch of girlz like 40 of uz were jumping and screamin like crazy when Taufik won then it waz time to quietened down coz itz already 2300 cuz they are neighbourhood around uz...then i brought em to sleep coz they're really tired..
at that night i waz really pissed coz Amanda kept going into the camper's tent to chitchat with em and i waz freakin mad..i couldnt raise my voice to her coz itz already late at night!!! i should hav marched into the tent and punished all of em but i waz too lenient at the time!!! ARRRGHHH!!! WHY AM I SO GOOD TO THEM????
im like "Wad the fuck are you doing with them?" and she said she waz freakin bored and then u know wad? she brought a few of OUR FUCKIN NIGHT BISCUITZ TO THESE CAMPERZ!!! ARGHHHGGHHRHRGRJRH! (@(%&@(@%^*@%!@(@&%@%@(@*^!&&!@@#$%&*()_+ why did i let em go so easily...i so regret doing dat..my gosh..
2nd day waz the busiest...we reported the incident about Amanda to Mdm Ng and she got a good talk with Amanda and Jerlynn got an issue with thiz Amanda which was realli none of my bznezz..i waz in charge of morning PT as usual and made it really tough den they were dead beat, we had our colourz, breakfast and more dutiez and lotsa inspectionZ and then itz time for Orientation gamez where they used compazz to guide em to cluez and then haf to make mslim'z farewell party..do campfire but it waz about to rain and they went into the atrium..then we did some night walk..the third day waz even more tiring coz we finished everythin like until 3, the girlz slept at 3.30 and the leaderz bathed around dat tym..den we decided not to sleep but we could no longer stand our eyez we slept at 6am and woke up at 7am..then we quickly bathed and strike camp, did some clearing and everythin den GO HOME ALAZ!! hahaa!pretty crude...geez i missed my ex-bf...where the hell iz he sey? he should finished his A-levelz by now wad...wad the hell...???

my werdz left unsaid
i lay here at one corner in the dark, my bed'z unmade
i tried to open my mouth and let the werdz come out
and let the ground open for free flow
i swear to you at the bottom of my heart you're good and i do love you
but the one i love left me dissin and pissed
cuz i broke his sweet little heart up and about
i waz slapped wif hiz werdz cuz he'z hurt and i feel real low
in diz corner, i feel like shit
im so sorry, i am being such a bitch
im feelin the cruelty creepin up
when i broke up wif him, i thought of him
when i took my 'O's i thought of him
when i got a job, i thought of him
when i got my O level result i thought of him
when im admitted to a new school, i thought of him
when an e-mail wif his name on it usin the Net to search for me
i feel so bad cuz now i still think of him
the empty timez i've wasted
the ultimate im sure i've tasted
now im tastin diz shit
i've pushed him outta my way, imma bitch, im busted
cryin like a freakin sicko
even my bestfren wouldnt give me a hicky
now im seeing diz and im learnin from it
all diz im given iz just a little bit
in diz blank space
i lay my thoughts in a length casket
my werdz left unsaid
my gut got fascade
my thoughts well-said
swear to me, a one time oath
say a prayer to the One above
to the one you care
cuz the dead changin the dove
your heart's empty so wadz there to shove?
you're burnin verbal rain
im left to rot and die in pain
im pickin up my game
once again, in diz confined place
wif so many people to face
the incoherent miasma in the air
conspicous defiance dat i wud share
in diz contemplated feelingz of anger
no rule, no believes in lovin tender
fuck the feel of the love'z sender
rite from the top
hatin the mushy vociferationz dat wouldnt stop
a new country will be born on the map
the world of contentment

diz song is dedicated to my ex-bf? i think...Haha...Damn it...Love Suckz