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Today's topic is: "What's The Point?"
When I started this conversation wif Kumaran in the LRT on our way back sets me thinkin of my future.So what?We talked abt CCA and points and University admission.Though we knew that fresh Poly graduates has lesser chances than JC (i'm smirkin' wen i sae JAY-C), it was really shockin' only 2 out of so many ppl in Pioneer batch of Molecular Biotechnology in NYP are lucky enough to get admitted to a LOCAL University. I realized how difficult it is to live in Singapore and also anywhere else. So what's the deal here, Sue?We noe dat to enter a Local University, u need to accumulate CCA points to help us in the admission. So what's the point of tiring our asses off to diligently goin to CCA meetings and blissfully getting CCA points when a tiny percentage of us are able to get to Singapore Uni?So what's the point of Oh-you-gotta-follow-your-heart crap when all decisions are one-sided to Jay-C ppl?What's the point of having the motivation to do the crap you like in Poly and ended up only with a fuckin diploma in our hands juz because we dun haf the chance to get admitted into a local Uni?Even if we're able to afford immense fees for an overseas university, what's the point wen we as foreigners were given a waiting list to get a freakin job there and if we were to come back home to Singapore, it's difficult to get a job even locally WITHOUT a LOCAL cert?What's the point of Poly graduates being more hands-on experience and obviously more knowledgeable in a certain subject than Jay-C ppl to get ostracize from going further?What's the point of ppl like me wif average intelligence had to put extra, super extra effort to get to a standard where i cud werk wif really intelligent ppl and ended up a failure?What's the point of promoting a more thinking-based education in Singapore wen all the while they're referring to Jay-C education system?What abt Poly then? Are they tryin to punish us for not werkin hard to get to a Jay-C or even for not being absolutely interested in rubbish Jay-C system? What is this about givin those schools filled wif smart kids an express way to Jay-C? What are you tryin to say to those who are slow-learners or average intelligent learners? That we deserve to study like fuck because we're born stupid?If intelligent people are given way too much then we average ppl might as well not school and show our darn faces in streets sweeping dirts these ingenious ppl make? Are we suppose to clean up the mess these dexterous bunch had caused? ARE WE?Why is it that we, Poly students, are willing to bear the adult transportation costs, higher concession prices and a more expensive school fees rather than gettin more benefits goin to a Jay-C?It's simply this: We're just not interested in Jay-C and we have interest in the areas where Poly offers where Jay-C doesnt.And you are punishin us for that?Singapore made it clear that talents of her people are a prospect to a successful country.Where talents come, interest MUST be there.They werk hand-in-hand.Without interest,how could you have a talent dammit? Then why arent we given the benefit of the doubt? What's the point of having a Singapore Sports School for a school of talents when there are general rule like 'Express students only'? What the fuckin hell?!!I believe that the number of Poly students who werked their ass off to a part-time job elsewhere to keep up with the school tuition fees are much higher than Jay-C students.I dont tink many Jay-C students have the drive to werk and school at the same time.no wonder they are such immature bunch.im sure they start feelin the heavy burden of payin expensive school fees when they're in Uni.then they will start werkin.To the subject,Im not askin for petition or a debate or a strike or something.I myself believe in justice and i just want to have my questions answered.evrybody knoes how i hated Jay-C students because of their pure ignoramous immaturity and ppl noes how many times i fucked some of the TJC students upside down inside out becoz of that.haha.i really hate how the singapore government rule the education system.Every benefits given to better students, there are sure to haf a message behind to imply to the not so good students.it's like, "Why I give good benefits to a clever student rather than a stupid person like you?" Ya knoW?I hate how Singapore indirectly make it seems like they're somekind of racist or something.Ha.There i go again.racism comes in the picture.shit.forget what u juz read.wads the purpose of givin smaller chances to poly students for a university admission?Is it because u tink its more than enough for us to get a diploma which has better prospect that an A-level cert studs? Thats true but that is if it stops there.But think again, University grads are able to get a degree with 2-3 degrees under their belt and got a chance to apply to Doctorate/Ph D.Then it isnt fair anymore right?By hook or by crook, Jay-C are able to get more and more benefits by the year.What the fuck?So what's the point of schoolin' when everything is juz leaning to smart ppl?What's the point driving our asses to the ground and fall 6 feet under?People like me will slack forever thinkin of how much effort i put in,no credit will come my way? For what i werk so hard for nothin in the end? Even if im a Never Give Up person, but what if when push comes to shove?No matter how high our patience is,it'll eventually limits.right?Fuck school prolly because how sucky Singapore School education is.
17:53
the prob wif me,outin mif sabby,suicidal ting-ting and my bestfren JO
i dunnoe wad e hell is happenin to me coz my mind's all jammed block..i keep forgettin simple things like where my one and only bestfren werks..SHE WERKS AT SOME ART FACTORY IN CLARKE QUAY GODDAMMIT SUE! WHY ARE YOU SO STOOPID! shit..i forgot dat Jonathan arrived Singapore like 2 days ago and i onli found out like fuck it 2 days later..im two days late..Jon was really mad at me not to care..FUCK!!i forgot dat im suppose to b at the orientation meetin yesterday and i had to test the AVA coz i was selected to b the music DJ for next week's orientation..i forgot to e-mail Micheal the lists of songs im suppose to air next week..and need his damn approval..i tink i juz air the songs that has all the fucks and bitches and whores..fuck man..i forgot everything..there's one thing i would always remember but i would wanna choose to forget..shit.why?the things i want to remember is forgotten and the things i want to forget is so picturesque, so brilliant so vivid in my mind?went out wif a really good fren 2 days ago..didnt meet her for at least from the day i received my 'O' levels result..wen was that? a year ago? shit miss her alot man..treat her to a yoghurt ice-cream wich is act not an ice-cream but its a yoghurt argh fuck it taste like yoghurt but its not really a yoghurt..watever..treat her to a Pastamania meal..treat her to a salty chicken wings and a margaritta..who noes i dun feel like drinkin..shit..it's 1 For 1..should douse myself with vodka or teq shots..Raff wasnt werkin early..though we waited for him like for an hour plus..im so sorry Sab..for makin u wait..thanks for everyting you hot thing..For the 2nd time in my life i juz feel like killin myself u noe.the 1st time i tink suicidal was the fact that i feel like crap in my life..my 1st time i feel like jumpin off my bedroom window..now i feel like just puncturing my heart wif a kitchen knife..i feel so unwanted..juz a piece of waste ppl make use to fill the hole in their life..Jo,i love you too.thanks for being the most understanding crazy fren i ever had..u made me change my mind abt girls coz wen we met i really hate girls..rmbr? hehe! i dunno how much i've expressed to u of how i cherish the times we had, apprize the times when u heal the big wound in my heart,and how much i venerate you as my sis.i love you,babe.u're the bomb.tho' sometimes i was always kept in the dark i still love u.one ting that i find it hard to forgive but things have been enlightened and i long have bear no malice against you and the sacrifice you made has blatantly forgotten,i cant forget the sacrifice u made to ditch me becoz of one guy is juz hard to believe.and i still love you.i realize dat these things haf to occur to let our friendship grow stronger.and i hope you realize that..THAT IS ONE HELL OF A SACRIFICE YOU MADE FOR JUST ONE GUY??? hehehehe! hahaha! muahahahaha!kiakiakiakiakiak! kahkahkahkahkah!muakakakakaka! (okay the last few laughs were actually invented by the psst..phamily) Love you loads jo! and im sorry i keep backing out wif our plans juz becoz im werkin..im kickin myself in the ass all the time i do dat..im very sorrie..i'll make it up to u babe..
13:31
You and Me Him and Me You and Him
i never tot feelings could develop btwn the both of us.you told me you like me.i never told u i like u too.then he told me he likes me.im in deep shit.u had a girlfriend.ur relationship wif her is on the rocks.coz she sent a spy to werk wif us.u told me u wanted to break up wif her.i dun ask u why.its ur personal stuffs.i dun wanna noe either.he's ur werkmate.ur colleague.u found out he likes me.he found out u like me.coz u told each other.im so confused.u're really close wif each other.u and him dont knoe how i feel.and i dun intend to tell both of u.a fight might arouse between he and u.i dun want dat to happen.i like u.alot.but he's my friend too.i feel dejected.im so disarrayed.please.im not pretty.im not used to diz kind of thing.i dun like to be attached.u guys are still talkin to each other.but when im around,there's a certain akwardness between the two of u.i could feel it.fuck man.for the first time in my life,i feel absolutely hurt.im scarred by diz.damn.i hate this.the throbbing spasm of my heart is just like a wound being forced open.arrgh!! i hate my life.
05:34
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