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unwanted
okayhow long has it been?and today's entry,i dont have a picheheoraitstupid computer crashedi cant load anything upi got difficulties in doing most of my school worksbecausedamn computer's absent...anyway,i think the big 'B' doesnt want me anymorehe's been a total ignoramijust because he found out about that 'something'its jeopardising our relationshipim not in the wrongso why should i feel bad??but i do feel badi really doi feel extremely badfor himi just dont understand the sudden changein himtowards usor is it just me??the thing is, he doesnt want to talkandi keep having these assumptions that im not wantedmaybe i am not wantedbut why prolong this? why keep dragging the broken anchor when all he could do is to just let go of the anchor and drift away freelydoes he still want to stay?and i keepthinkingand thinkingthinkingthinkingthinkingthinkingthinkingand the thinking never stopsthe thinking is killing meof coursei dont want it to endbut whats the point when you only clap on one hand??i tried reeling him back to realityand its like shaking a coma patient to wake up...on the event of the real truthi bawled my eyes out in publicknowing the fact that i might lose someone i lovei have never felt so alone in my lifei was so contented at the way things have been goingwhenone little glitch comes upit just smack me right in the facei was too shock to recoveruntil nowim struggling to keep my head upand my heart focusedbecause the questions keep popping up andthe answers never relief mehe seemed to have no other way of elightening mewe're still togetherbut something's missingsometimes he here for meother times, he just disappearedand that other times,i find comfort in Fifieand Fifie told me to just be patient with himmaybe he's finding time to get around what he's facingand i thinkthatskind of bullshitbecause i dont find comfort in pushing me like piece of shit just because the product of your mistake is suddenly going to recover in 3 months has anything to do with my problem...unless...he wants to take responsibilityto bothi dont know...he better act fastcoz im desperatefor answers
09:49
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