mizzhaily

goes

Red

and

ALiVe

sometimes...



sometimes..
people say that they'll be there for you
when actually...
they're not
they're just saying it so as to give you assurance
that you haf the assumption that that particular party
is the best fren u ever had
i got news for you...
until this person gives you a call when u are particularly down right at that moment
and soothes you to calmness,
then dats the best fren u ever had
otherwise..they're just words
words that doesnt meant anything
words that like an empty box
dont believe it..
heck..
the very moment i even think about telling you my problem
i should slap myself in the face and step back
coz
telling you is the most regretful thing i ever would haf divulged
the fact is...
you dont even cared
the fact is...
all you ever care is to find your _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
i would never depend on you on whatsoever
because you'll always leave me to tend on my own
...
i know i will never be left alone
theres always someone to pick me up in the end
for one
Fifie will always be there to give me a call every once a while
updating me on what is happening with him
or
asking me how am i doing
DESPITE
his busy life to be a good and filial son
he's been accepted as an SIA Engineer
i've never been more than happy for him
and i am going to his graduation party
to celebrate his achievements wif his mom
and
when Yan totally ruin my ideal momentum of happiness,
Fifie asked me, "What do you want to do?"
and i actually said, "I want to drive a knife to his heart and twist the knife over and over and over again.."
and Fifie laughed making me look like a total fool
at that point i just wanna smack him
"What I meant is what do you want to do...Definitely you want to do something fun for a change since you're free now.."
Heh..im so belo...yeah i suggested we went Johor for supper
and yeah
its been a loooooong time since we had fun
since i got hooked
by an asshole
the asshole who hates me going out wif fifie
ANYWAY,
HE is an example of the best fren you ever had
rite??
for the other, Maria
she's the one person i will never regret spilling my guts to
i tell her everything
you hear me asshole? EVERYTHING
everything about you too
every little thing you conceive of in another say...a month or so??
wad the hell..
fuck another bitch asshole
who knows wad might come up in nine months..
oh ya..back to Maria...
she knows everything that happen in my life
dats probably because she care
she care to pick up her phone, dial my number and ask me if im ok
she's the perfect fren
and i care about her alot too
i know her vulnerability is always been her shadow
she has been thru alot and it pains to hear her stories
i never imagine myself goin thru wad she has been thru
she's a strong woman
and therefore i need her
other than that
my
family
will
always
be
there
for
me
...
and thanks guys for wishing me happy birthday
esp. Dali: thanks for remembering...you're the first among all to wish me though sometimes you make me really mad with your constant verbiage, i really appreciate your priority to be there for me..oh well..after your girlfriend now that you haf one..heeeee..good luck man!
PEACE

19:38

† The Being †



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