mizzhaily

goes

Red

and

ALiVe

my gut just turned right back in

he finally uploaded his pic on facebook
havent seen him for the longest time

my ex-boyfriend's a model now
one of those times where you stop and think back
"What happened?"
then
AH!
it hit me.
hit me HARD
damn i dumped the guy
without mercy
slaughtered his heart right through and through
smack him right in the face
throw him hard against the wall
squeeze the life out of his sweet sweet heart
and turned his saccharine personality into a cursing fit
vulgarities thrown at me
hatred
disappointment
disgust
immense angst
.
.
.
even so
it catalyzed no reaction in me
no wait
guess wad my first reaction was?
laughter.
i fucking laughed at your absolute abhorrence
what the fuck am i?
i had a stone cold heart man
wad the bloody hell was i made of?
wad a bitch
im a bitch
a fucking heartless bitch
...
i had my regrets
this is the biggest
but i never feared mistakes i made
i could never tell how low i stooped
until i turned back and visited the past
how cruel i had been
...
truth is
laughter is a reflex response to fear
i was a
vicious, treacherous little witch
...
i could feel the utmost disappointment when people starts reading this post
...
with the deepest regrets
i bow my head so low
and
i compunctiously say,
"I deserve all the fucks you gave me while i was that smiling evil little bitch,"
i didnt know
i swear
im truly and deeply sorry
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
oh and btw, johan and i are still keeping in touch
he's too good a person to let go just like that

02:31

† The Being †



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Strength of a Living Soul
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War of the body organs
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The day the world crumbles upon me
Fifie's new crush
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Vicious Cycle
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A piece off my diary
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